Atul k

the following poem was taken from Paulo Coelho’s blog.. but according to him he got it from the internet… so my thanks to both of them.. the person who wrote it and Paulo Coelho himself..

I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them;
I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back;
I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.
I’ve learned that you can get by on charm, for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better know something;
I’ve learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I’ve learned that no matter how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take it’s place.
I’ve learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re downhill are the ones to help you get back up.
I’ve learned that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry.
I’ve learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
I’ve learned that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean that they don’t love you with all they have.
I’ve learned that maturity had more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.
I’ve learned that your family won’t always be there for you.
I’ve learned that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while.
I’ve learned that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to forgive yourself.
I’ve learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn’t stop for your grief.
I’ve learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
I’ve learned that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.
I’ve learned that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
I’ve learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
I’ve learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will get hurt in the process.
I’ve learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don’t even know you.
I’ve learned that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings and standing up for what you believe..

Dhoni the wonder boy
You have been torn asunder boy
Sachin the great
I think you know to bat
Rahul the wall
Why did fall
VVS the special
Now you too are flail
BCCI
BUSSINESS CLASS CHATTERS AND IDIOTS
And finally my nation
Bunch of 11+few
cant rule the nation’s mood
Bigger dramas all around
Barks of political hounds

PS: Cheer yourself up if in case you love cricket like i do though its awful to look at those 11FOOLS –Manish kumar

these lines are by my buddy from the school days Manish. the frustration with the performance of our cricket team over the recent tour starting from west Indies to the present tour of Australia is visible all over the country..
the recent hoopla of Sachin’s century has also died out due the pathetic show of our team. the preoccupation with cricket is so astonishing that each game is considered a matter of life and death. the discussion of the game over the dinner table to the nearby tea-stall is testimony of the fact that how passionate people are for this great game. this passion for the game has been milked by the BCCI to fill its coffer without any sign of disgust or discretion. the performance of the team has slided so much since the heroic triumph of the world cup has surprised one and all.. over and above the fans and fanatics’ prayer for the legendary Sachin Tendulkar.. well, they are asking the government to award him the Bharat Ratna for his great service to the nation for being the greatest batsman in India.(Bharat Ratna is India’s highest civilian award that can be awarded to anyone) there is no doubt that he is a great player but we need to ask this question.. does he really deserve to be a Bharat Ratna recipient .. Actually, he has been more than compensated for being a great player.. he earns tons of money from commercials and his fees from the BCCI. Apart from that he keeps on getting tax breaks for one reason or the other.. either for his ferrari or for his newly constructed bungalow… the primary question here is does a multimillionaire player like him deserve such tax breaks.. more, pertinent to ask is should he have asked for such treatments. I mean, its not only him, there are others also who get such treatment… this is not being fair to the common masses who struggle day and night to fill the government tax..

Among other things, what I’ve observed is that the image they’ve created for themselves is getting little tacky these days… once upon a time their image was created out of a genuine goodwill. but, now I suspect they employ professional PR managers to sustain their image over a longer period of time. they advice them what to say, where to go and what to do and also manages their larger than life personality…

Alas, these can’t be sustained forever… you’ve to perform at highest level to capture the imagination of the whole nation. you can’t sit on your laurels and keep counting your bucks forever. people as an individual may forgive you, but, the mob seldom forgives the sinner or the supposed sinner. there are options for you… most respectable ones.. either perform or take retirement while there is goodwill still in the hearts of the masses.. give the youngsters chance to play for the country… even if they loose now there is hope for the future… in your case, senior players there’s no hope.. you’re already old enough to be teachers for the future stars..

The BCCI should invest in the domestic cricket in a big way… I do not understand what they’d with those tons of unused money in their locker.. create a big bench strength to sustain the national team over longer period of time. the problem is because this organisation is a private enterprise. a consortium that runs the multi-billion dollar sports opportunity. they are not responsible to anyone… not even to the crazy fans who fill their coffers with their time and money.. there is no transparency in their conduct of the business of sport. the recent attempt to bring them under the government supervision or oversight was met with strong reaction from the ministers and politicians who hold simultaneous post with the BCCI and ICC and the GoI.

At present the future of Indian cricket looks bleak. the present youngsters are bunch who have not been counseled properly about crowd behaviour and the players code of conduct. Cricket is as much a mind game as its an entertainer. Moreover, performance counts not diatribe against the opponents. this series also saw young players like Ishant and Virat getting verbal with David Warner, the formers telling the later come to India you can’t play similarly as you are playing here… what sort of argument is this.. this is just like cutting a sorry figure in the face of defeat… and complaining like a small kid.. this kind of behaviour should be rejected with disdain.

now, what’s the way forward… I don’t want to give any quick fix. we all know and they also know what to do… the problem is the intention with the establishment called BCCI and of course the players… their attitude is the main problem. the attitude to the way they approach their game called cricket… played by 11 fools and watched by one billion fools including me…

the ancient Indian Guru Chanakya said the following thing about marriage.. that one should marry a virgin from a respectable family even if she suffering from deformity and one should desist from marrying a girl who is beautiful but not from a good family..

Now, this knowledge was imparted centuries ago.. if we interpret it properly in the current scenario with due precaution then what we get is as good as it was centuries ago.
First, I’d like to acknowledge that I’m not yet married and I’m going to do a commentary on the institution of marriage… some people might take it as an offense. But, I’d like to be reasonable throughout!

What constitutes a successful marriage? a smart husband and a dumb wife, or a dumb husband and a smart wife, or both dumb or both intelligent.. this was the topic of our debate this evening that appeared out of the blue in the ongoing stupid sundry gossips… well, it appeared when Ravi inquired from me when I was getting married and pat I gave the reply when I’m well settled in life.. then he asked the time frame and I said it may take at least 3 years.. At this point Girija said, he’ll have to elope with the girl to marry her.. at this I said, guys, what’s the need to marry in a hurry.. date a lot of girls and have fun and if you find someone who truly loves you then go for her… then, someone said, marriage should done in only in an appropriate age, i.e. 25-26 years of age.. and they are all approaching it.. hehe

Now,that was the background of the debate… and the thing that followed were rational, irrational, chauvinistic, family oriented and of course the sexual politics involved within the relationship of husband-wife, and the politics within the family of one-upmanship..

this brings me to the point of a successful marriage within the Indian tradition. My friends proposed that if the man is good enough or let’s say “man enough” (not physically but mentally) meaning thereby, if he is mentally strong then whatever the situation maybe… he’ll have a successful married life… I was in opposition to their contention I raised several points related to family life, the relationship of husband and wife, the relationship of the wife to the other members of the family, and the sexual politics involved sometimes to drive home the points raised by the wife to achieve their “goal”… whatever I tried to put forward for an amicable understanding that if the wife is not cooperative then whatever maybe the position of the man, whatever maybe his intelligence, courage, strength of mind.. the relationship is doomed to be a failure..

My argument against the wife is not against the “wife” or females per se but it stands on the contention that marriage as an institution is based on the equal partnership of both the male and female respectively. If anyone goes out of that equation then the said arrangement of marriage is over. Husband and Wife both are wheel of the chariot that cannot move in the opposite direction. they’ve to move in unison with confidence of each other in the same direction.. the family cannot be run day after day mired in conflict, quarrels and complaints…

(one of friends chided me that I’ll be the slave of my wife or puppet to the orders of my wife that’s why I’m taking in such a manner… I just replied, let’s be practical and talk some sensible things… I understand, he got hurt by my comment as I respect him for his forthrightness, at the same time I vehemently stand for my own beliefs and stand by my own opinions..)

A successful marriage can be said to between two individuals who can be partners, who can understand each-others needs, who can sacrifice up to a certain extent for the well being of the family. the role of both the sexes in a marriage is of utmost importance. none of the position is subservient to the other. they both have to respect each other and listen to each other.

within the Indian tradition, living with the parent is most important for the newly weds. so, to adjust to the family values of the new family is a challenge for the brides…In times of changing values and the social impact of the globalisation is immense in each and every home of the country. It is highly prudent to exercise caution and prevent the collapse of the marriage resulting in divorce due to reliance on the chauvinistic tendencies that still runs deep in the society. we are not living in a medieval time where the subjugation of the women was routine but we live in a modern age where the rules of the game are changing and have changed up to a certain extent, where women want an equal status, where they are not far behind the men in most cases.. and if they decide to differ on key family roles and practices and even unity of the family then God forbid, family life can turn out to be very bad experience indeed! In this context we should re-interpret Chanakya’s Quotation and with the changing time should give it an appropriate spin for smooth functioning of the family life.